Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Esther’s Office Hours
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Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.
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Esther Calling - It Feels Like My Siblings Abandoned Me
In this Esther Calling, Esther speaks to a young woman grappling with the burden of caring for her ailing parents and the feelings of resentment she feels towards her older siblings. But the true cause of this family conflict goes much deeper than who is showing up and who is not.
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.
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Does Growing Up Mean Growing Apart? Follow-Up
These three young men grew up together and started a production company as adults. They faced the growing pains one might expect as they transitioned from friends to coworkers. Now, two years after their initial session, Esther follows up to see where they are now and what shifted after the session.
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Does Growing Up Mean Growing Apart?
They grew up together and now run a production company. They are contending with the growing pains of transitioning from best friends to coworkers and the challenges of running, essentially, a family business. Esther helps them find the complementarity in their roles and see their story as growing and developing even in the face of challenges.
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Esther Calling - My Mom Should Have Set a Different Example
Esther speaks to a woman who is experiencing a kind of a double story. She resents her mother for the choices she made and the example she set, while also wondering if she keeps choosing the safe person as a way to combat those childhood feelings of abandonment. Esther helps her untangle these complicated feelings.
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The Legacy of Our Mothers
In this Apple bonus, Esther shares a letter she wrote about mothers including the complicated relationship she had with her own mother. As we approach Mother's Day, Esther invites you to reflect on your own relationships with motherly figures and encourages you to reach out to them. She even has a few ideas of things you can ask to get a new conversation started.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter -
There's You, There's Me, There's US
This is a classic session, from the first season of Where Should We Begin? A middle-aged couple, together for seventeen years, best friends and partners who, despite their loving and positive relationship, go months without connecting sexually. He transitioned 10 years ago, and they’re both experiencing the physical changes of aging. Esther guides them through body exercises, in an effort to help them find sexual spaces amidst the crush of everyday life.
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Customer Reviews
Brilliant
This podcast has helped me tremendously on so many levels. It’s truly incredible.
I think I married the wrong person
Oh boy, I hope he can take in what is being said. He sounds like he isn't getting it. She seems observant and intelligent. He wants to always be right. If it's a fact, it should be said, whether it hurts or not. Not a good skill for a relationship.
I think I married the wrong person
No one is letting this man speak. Both Ester and the wife continue to interrupt him, despite him being scolded when he “responds too quickly.” Ester is inferring things about their relationship after just minutes of interacting with them, which seems to suit the wife’s narrative but clearly not the husband’s, but he never has a chance to clarify his narrative because they won’t let him speak. Arg.
The woman screams in front of their child, which is unacceptable to the husband, and rightly so. The wife desperately needs to work through her trauma so she’s not so angry all the time. Ester telling the husband to just let her yell but to be kind to her while she’s yelling (because that will apparently break her pattern of yelling) is absurd. Maybe that can come in time but this woman needs more immediate help and skills in controlling her anger and should be told so.
I find that Ester is totally enabling this women’s behavior, and that both Ester and the wife are ganging up on the husband without ever giving him a chance to finish a single sentence. It’s infuriating. I get that he’s an intellectualizer and needs to work on that, but feel bad for him.