Joyce Stankiewicz on caring for a loved one with dementia and the buddy system at University Gates

#ElderWisdom | Stories from the Green Bench

Jun 14 2022 • 31 mins

Episode #39 - Formerly of New Hamburg now living at The Village at University Gates in Waterloo.  Doug & Erin welcome to the green bench, Joyce Stankiewicz, as they chat about the buddy system, caring for a loved one with dementia, and the importance of forgiveness, humour, and memories.

Sharing marriage stories from 70 years with her husband Bill and the tough conversation when required to take away someone's car keys.  A journey through dementia as Joyce cares for her husband through this process.

What is aphasia?

Aphasia is a language disorder caused by damage in a specific area of the brain that controls language expression and comprehension. Aphasia leaves a person unable to communicate effectively with others.

Bill was diagnised with Nonfluent Variant Primary Progressive Aphasia. People with nonfluent variant primary progressive aphasia (nfvPPA) tend to come to the doctor’s office with complaints about pronouncing words or increasing trouble getting words out. Their speech may sound slurred, or their voice may change. As time goes on, people with nfvPPA have more trouble putting sentences together, and they eventually begin to speak slower and slower.

Doug's wife also lives with dementia sharing his experience as he noticed changes at home.

"If you have a problem and cannot find out how to solve, then get someone to help you solve it." -Joyce Stankiewicz

"The buddy system: to connect a person who lives at University Gates and knows the routine with someone who just moved into the Village." -Joyce Stankiewicz

Joyce has published two books about her mother. 1. My Journey, by Aida Sauder 2. Famous quotes and quips from Mother Sauder and others

Saying such as, "you get more flies with honey than vinegar", and more quotes shared by Joyce.

Advice for someone who cares for a loved one living with dementia.  "A comfort to be able to talk about it and to know that other share your pain." -Joyce Stankiewicz

"Joy shared is multiplied and pain shared is divided." -unattributed

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The Green Bench is a symbol of elder wisdom. Physically or virtually, the bench invites us all to sit alongside a senior, share a conversation, or give and offer advice.

It challenges the stigma seniors face; the ageism still so prevalent in society. It reminds us of the wealth of wisdom our elders offer and in doing so, helps restore them to a place of reverence.

"The greatest untapped resource in Canada, if not the world, is the collective wisdom of our elders." -Ron Schlegel

This podcast is brought to you by Schlegel Villages, retirement & long-term care homes in Ontario, Canada.

#ElderWisdom | Stories from the Green Bench is produced by Memory Tree Productions Learn more about our host, Erin Davis, at erindavis.com Learn more about #ElderWisdom at elderwisdom.ca

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