Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

We seem to have, in the last few months, had a lot of religious guests, and through that we've had a lot of conversations about how religiosity can be in direct conflict with queerness, and all the issues that that can create. But what we haven't really talked about are the similarities between religion and queerness. And, to be fair, there probably aren't that many, but what stuck out for me in this week's conversation is that they both offer community and the promise of belonging. And that might not have specifically been what this week's guest, Dr Luke Wilson, was seeking in either, but that's what stood out for me in this conversation. Luke was an Evangelical Christian in his teens and 20s, and though that provided certainty in some aspects of his life, it also threw up a whole host of questions and points of conflict for him. And, it was at an unknown gay bar in Albuquerque, New Mexico (where he happened to be visiting for a conference) that he got a proper peek at what it might mean if he left religion behind and embraced his queerness. Find out more in this week's episode. Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Takeaways Evangelicalism can have a profound impact on personal identity and sexuality, often leading to feelings of anger and frustration. Motivations for embracing evangelicalism can include the desire for community and the need to appease family members. Evangelical beliefs can be intellectually inconsistent and resistant to questioning. Transitioning away from a religious community can involve untangling one's life and finding new sources of support and community. Entering a gay bar for the first time can be an exhilarating and transformative experience, especially for individuals who have repressed their sexuality due to religious or societal pressures. Premeditation and repression often accompany the exploration of one's queerness, as individuals navigate the tension between their desires and their religious or moral beliefs. The queer community can provide a sense of belonging and authenticity that may be lacking in other areas of life, allowing individuals to embrace their true selves. Early encounters and experiences with same-sex attraction can be confusing and awkward, often leaving individuals with feelings of guilt and shame. Living authentically and allowing lived experiences to shape one's beliefs can lead to a more fulfilling and genuine life, even if it means challenging previously held religious or moral frameworks. The process of self-acceptance and embracing one's queer identity can be a profound and transformative experience. Finding a supportive community of like-minded individuals can be instrumental in navigating the challenges of coming out and living authentically. Religious upbringings can create internal conflicts and feelings of shame and guilt for queer individuals. Conversion therapy is a harmful and ineffective practice that can lead to further self-hatred and emotional distress. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

Can you really call yourself queer if you don't have a weird love/hate relationship with your home town? Because even if you love the place that you're from and you had an idyllic childhood there's still that reckoning that you need to have with all of those feelings of isolation and anticipation judgement and scorn when you came to terms with your identity... and, sometimes even experiencing ACTUAL judgement and scorn. Which brings us to today's guest (not that I'm asking you to judge and scorn him, just that this experience of feeling unwanted in his hometown is something that is familiar to him). It's singer/songwriter Matt Fishel. Matt grew up in Nottingham, England in the 90s, and, in this weird pre-internet age (when it wasn't always easy to discover gay bars) he found himself at what he thought was the only gay bar in town, The Mill. Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mattfishel Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.mattfishel.com Takeaways Discovering one's sexuality at a young age can be a mix of happiness and depression, especially when unable to openly discuss it with others. Navigating through emotions and accepting one's sexuality is a personal journey that takes time and self-reflection. Coming out can be a challenging and traumatic experience, especially in a conservative and homophobic environment. Having a supportive network of friends is crucial in navigating the process of coming out. The timing and fears associated with coming out can vary for each individual. Validation and liberation are common feelings experienced after coming out. Media portrayals and societal expectations can create internal conflicts for individuals questioning their identity. Being gay in your teenage years can be a challenging and isolating experience, with the fear of being found out and the pressure to hide your true self. Finding gay spaces and opportunities to explore and practice your sexuality can be difficult, especially in smaller towns or communities. Media representation of healthy gay relationships was limited in the 90s, with many portrayals focusing on tragedy or stereotypes. Despite the challenges, discovering and embracing your sexuality can be a fascinating and liberating experience. Matt reflects on his journey of self-acceptance and offers advice to young LGBTQ+ individuals to embrace their identity and explore the world beyond their immediate surroundings. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

How much of yourself do you bring to the spaces that you spend time in? How much of the different sides of yourself do you bring out when you are at work? At dinner with friends? Spending time with your family? Hanging out at the club? Do you dial back your queerness, do you push down your beliefs or censor your thoughts? Or, are you one of those people who is just 100% themselves no matter where they go? I think that there are merits to both approaches, so I'm not necessarily advocating one over the other. But, I find it fascinating to examine our behaviours and understand the reasons behind our approaches. And this is one of the conversations that I had with this week's guest, the host of the Queer News podcast, Anna DeShawn. Anna is a black, masc-of-centre lesbian, and when she was younger she felt that she had to dial up or dial down different parts of herself depending on where she was. But not, as it so happens, at her lost space - the lesbian bar Star Gaze in Chicago. Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/annadeshawn/⁠ Website: ⁠https://annadeshawn.com/⁠ Takeaways Finding community and representation is crucial for queer individuals to feel seen and validated. Navigating different spaces can be challenging, especially when aspects of one's identity are not fully accepted or understood. Creating safe and inclusive spaces, like Stargaze, is essential for fostering a sense of belonging and allowing individuals to be their authentic selves. Maintaining energy and confidence while taking up space requires self-care, grounding practices, and a supportive network. Figuring out adulthood is an ongoing process, and it often involves navigating financial responsibilities and finding a balance between personal and professional growth. Stargaze was a popular lesbian bar in Chicago that provided a space for the queer community to gather and be themselves. The closure of Stargaze left a void in the community, highlighting the need for dedicated lesbian spaces. Anna's journey of self-discovery and acceptance led her to embrace her black and queer identities and find balance between them. The Queer News Podcast is a platform for discussing important topics and issues affecting the LGBTQ+ community. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

There's one question that gets asked in this week's episode that’s really stuck with me and that I continued to ponder even after we'd said our goodbyes and turned our microphones off... And that question is: how do you know when you have become the person that you’re supposed to be? By that I mean - at what point do you say 'yes this is the person I was supposed to be' rather than continue to strive and figure that out? Or, do you just kind of like make do with who you presently are and accept that that might change one day? And it's one of those annoying questions where there probably isn't an answer, so it's not worth expending any energy trying to figure it out, but if you have any suggestions do let me know! But for now, let’s focus on our guest for this week’s episode, Amethysta Herrick, writer and host of the Gender Identity Weekly podcast. Amethysta came out as a trans woman in 2022, but if you've ever come out then you know that it takes a lot of mental computation and processing to get to that point and it's usually something that you know about a long time before you're willing to share it with the wider world. But luckily for us we have queer spaces where it's safe to explore these things. And, one of the places that helped Amethysta explore and understand her identity was the Athens, Georgia bar Boneshakers, where, way back in the 90s, she got to try out an alternate identity - she named herself Selina after Catwoman's civilian name - and just got to flirt, hang out, and exist as herself. Do you have any memories of Boneshakers, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: www.facebook.com/lostspacespod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Find out more about Amethysta by listening to her podcast, Gender Identity Weekly, or by visiting her website (https://www.amethysta.io/) Takeaways Identity is a continuous process of becoming and evolving, and there is no fixed destination. The 90s were a time of both darkness and hope for Amethysta, as she navigated her gender transition and struggled with mental health. Living in Athens as a student was a formative experience for Amethysta, shaping her understanding of herself and her place in the world. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

Have you ever shown up at the tail-end of a really exciting party just as everything was ending, and you get that overwhelming feeling of having had missed out on something big? Well, that's kinda what happened to illustrator and cartoonist Eric Kostiuk Williams. He had moved to Toronto in 2008, and took a few years to discover the corner of the scene that felt right for him - in his word, the 'art f*g' scene - but just as he was finding his feet he could feel that the scene was shifting and moving on, meaning that he always feels that he missed out on many magical nights in his lost space, The Beaver. But that's not to say that he still didn't have a good time! We caught up to talk about his new book, 2am Eternal, which documents 10 years of Toronto nightlife flyers that he illustrated - along the way we talk about when and how to leave the party, Eric's relationship with the word 'queer', and letting go of your twink-dom. Do you have any memories of The Beaver, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eric.k.w/ Website: https://www.kostiukwilliams.com/ Takeaways The term 'twink' can have different connotations and meanings, ranging from derogatory to enviable, depending on the context and individual perspectives. The experience of coming out and embracing one's identity can vary greatly, and it is important to respect each person's unique journey. Toronto offers a vibrant and inclusive environment for the LGBTQ+ community, with thriving creative and queer communities that provide a sense of belonging and support. Finding one's community and personal growth often involves exploring different spaces, connecting with like-minded individuals, and embracing self-expression. The terms 'gay' and 'queer' have different connotations and can represent different aspects of identity and community. Creating posters for queer parties requires understanding the vibe and atmosphere of the event and collaborating with the organizers. Generational shifts and the passage of time can bring changes to the queer scene, but new experiences and connections can still be found. The Beaver played a significant role in creating a vibrant queer scene in Toronto. Being part of a scene involves both a sense of community and practical considerations. Knowing when to exit a party or scene is important for personal well-being. The closure of The Beaver highlights the loss of unique spaces in Toronto. Lessons from The Beaver include embracing oneself and appreciating the value of personal experiences. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

So, it's well documented on this show that queer spaces are good for many things - they're for dancing, socialising, drinking, falling down, getting back up, losing yourself, finding yourself in the arms of some strange men at 2am in the morning... BUT, they are also for organising and activism, and I think that's something we don't talk about enough on this show. That's all about to change. This week we are joined by activist Dr Syrus Marcus Ware, who joined me to talk about The Red Spot, in Toronto, Canada. This was a space where he unwound, met and connected with many fellow organisers, and planned protests and marches in the late 90s... Oh, yes, you read correctly! We are headed back to the 90s, and our conversation starts with the most 90s conversation ever, where Syrus explains all about how answering machines and pagers worked! Do you have any memories of The Red Spot, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook: ⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Support me Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/syrusmarcus Twitter: https://twitter.com/syrusmarcusware Website: https://www.syrusmarcusware.com/ Takeaways The Red Spot was a significant space for activism and organising in Toronto, providing a home for marginalised communities. Experiencing anti-blackness in LGBTQ+ spaces highlights the need for intersectional activism and the importance of creating inclusive and welcoming environments. Coming out as trans is a personal journey that can be supported by community and activism. The Red Spot was a significant community space for queer and trans individuals in Toronto, providing a cozy and inclusive atmosphere. The closure of the Red Spot raised concerns about the loss of a safe and accessible gathering place for the community The Red Spot taught valuable lessons about the power of community organising, the value of accessibility, and the impact of artistic practice in activism. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

I know there's always the risk with this show of completely romanticising queer spaces as these glistening oasis' of tolerance and acceptance. But, that's really not the case - despite how wonderful and freeing they can be, they can also be a bit shitty and exclusionary. And I was reminded of that this week when I sat down to talk to talk to Andrew Gurza, who is a disability awareness consultant and activist, as well as being the host of the Disability After Dark podcast. We caught up to discuss The Edge, which was a gay bar in Ottawa, Canada, and held so much promise for Andrew but pretty much failed to deliver. But, that's not to say that this is a totally depressing episode. That Andrew is one horny guy, and he seems to have mastered the art of turning every conversation into one about blow jobs, so penises and giggling come up a lot, as well as the despair we both feel about mainstream gay male culture! So, in other words - something for everyone (?)! Do you have any memories of The Edge, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Andrew by following him on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/andrewgurza6/) or visiting his website (https://www.andrewgurza.com/). Finally, make sure you listen to his podcast Disability After Dark! Takeaways Queer spaces, such as clubs, can be inaccessible and unwelcoming to disabled individuals, highlighting the need for greater accessibility education. Ableism and ignorance towards disability are prevalent in society, including within the queer community. It is important to confront ableism and educate others about disability, but it can be exhausting and disappointing when met with resistance or indifference. Rejection and disappointment are common experiences in dating and relationships, but it is important to prioritise self-worth and not settle for mistreatment. Intersectionality is crucial in understanding the experiences of queer and disabled individuals. Unpacking biases and stereotypes is necessary for creating more inclusive and accepting queer spaces. There is a need for greater accessibility in queer spaces, and fundraising efforts should be directed towards making these spaces inclusive for all. The fear of disability within the queer community hinders meaningful connections and perpetuates ableism. Enforcement of accessibility laws is essential to ensure equal access for disabled individuals. The concept of community is complex, and it is important to recognise and address the divisions and challenges within different queer communities. Resilience and self-discovery are key in navigating the complexities of identity and finding a sense of belonging. Being the only one with a particular identity can be powerful, but it also highlights the need for greater representation and inclusivity. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

I have a fairly straightforward relationship with religion in that... well, I don't have one. I wasn't brought up religious, I've never dabbled in religiousity, and it's never seemed to be something that particularly drew me in. Where it's a bit more fuzzy for me is when talking about the intersection between queerness and religiousness. It'll come as no surprise to you when I say that most religions take a fairly strong stance when it comes to queerness (and that stance isn't one of embrace and love). And, so, I was always so baffled by people who were both religious and queer, and how they found ways to balance both of those identities. I thought they were in denial or trying to please everyone or trying to be a 'respectable' gay. But, my views have changed - as I get older I can understand how useful religion can be (and, on top of that, it's kind of none of my business if someone else wants to be religious). I'm telling you all of this because this week I had a really interesting conversation with Crystal Cheatham, who is the founder and CEO of the OurBible app, an app for progressive Christians that she developed when she got fed-up of the homophobic BS she was encountering on other mainstream apps. We caught up to talk about the lesbian bar Sisters, which was in Philadelphia, USA, that she started going to when she was but a little gay-by. And, I think you're going to enjoy this conversation. I personally got a lot of insight, and a new perspective, on how to hold religious views alongside your rampant queerness (!). Do you have any memories of Sisters?, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Crystal by following her on X (https://twitter.com/crystalcheatham) or visiting her website (https://www.crystalcheatham.me/)/ Or, if it tickles your fancy why not download the Our Bible app, which is a community space for people who identify as spiritual but not religious, progressive Christian, or nothing at all. Key takeaways Lesbian bars can be lively and sometimes chaotic spaces, where unexpected and outrageous things can happen. Moving to a new city can provide opportunities for self-discovery and exploration of one's identity. Reconciling faith and sexuality can be a challenging process, but there are affirming religious spaces available. Fighting for LGBTQ+ rights and challenging conservative ideologies can be fuelled by anger and a desire for change. The first experiences of attraction to women can be both exciting and nerve-wracking, but they can also lead to meaningful connections. The closure of Sisters, a lesbian bar in Philadelphia, had a significant impact on the LGBTQ+ community, resulting in the loss of a cultural hub and safe space. Crystal's journey with religion and spirituality led her to create an inclusive app (OurBible) that reflects her own beliefs and experiences. Family acceptance and support are crucial for LGBTQ+ individuals, and while some family members may struggle with acceptance, it is important to prioritise self-care and set boundaries. Self-discovery and personal growth are essential for embracing one's sexuality and spirituality, and it is important to live in the present moment and not worry about others' opinions. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

We talk in this episode a little about Lamya's new memoir, Hijab Butch Blues. If you're interested in snagging yourself a copy why not take a look at my Bookshop store? https://uk.bookshop.org/a/13642/9781785788499 Books! Is there anything more inviting and accepting than a good book - one that seems to know you better than you know yourself? Books were my best friend when I was growing up, and they seemed to always provide comfort and solace from whatever shit was happening elsewhere in my life (which was usually the horror of high school). And there's something so magical about going to a library or going to a book shop and just being surrounded by the possibilities and the universes that were inside. And, I have a hunch I'm not the only one who thinks this way - in fact, this week I'm joined by author Lamya H, who found themselves drawn to the queer, trans and sex worker run bookshop Bluestockings when they were a fresh transplant to NYC. (And, for clarity's sake, it's worth saying that Bluestockings still exists, but it's no longer at its original location on Allen St, which is where Lamya first found it) Do you have any memories of Bluestockings, or a queer space from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Lamya H by following them on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/lamyaisangry) or visiting their website (https://www.lamyah.com/) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

It's time to put on your skinny jeans, dig out your studded belt, and apply about a week's worth of black eyeliner, because this week.... we're going emo! Now, if you’re listening to this episode 300 years from now and you’re like ‘what the heck is emo’ let me break it down for you... According to dictionary.com emo is 'a style of rock music resembling punk but having more complex arrangements and lyrics that deal with more emotional subjects'. And, as with every good genre of music there is a scene, a style of dress, and a way of thinking... But, enough of my thinly disguised judgement - this week comedian and podcaster Matt Hey is taking us to Hot Damn, an emo night in Sydney, Australia, in, of course, the most emo of decades - the 00s. And, legitimately, Hot Damn sounds like it was the place to be - different rooms playing different music, live bands, and every month there was a themed party (think 'Spring Break', 'School Graduation') and they would have novelty pop-ups like kissing booths and a mechanical bull in the shape of a giant penis. Growing up on the Central Coast (which is about 1 - 1.5 hours outside of Sydney), the club helped Matt normalise being different and seeing people there just not giving a fuck was liberating. But, listen to the whole episode to find out the full story... Do you have any memories of Hot Damn, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod) or Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Matt by following him on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/alrighthey) or listen to his podcast High Scrollers! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

This study was published at the beginning of 2024, and it talks about the key role of Aunties and 'othermothers' in supporting queer children to flourish by providing emotional and practical support. Admittedly, it's probably one of those studies that confirms what everyone else has known for years, but it's particularly interesting to me because I didn't grow up with any adult female figures in my life other than my mother (and teachers at school, I suppose, but there's a distance and a power dynamic that means that isn't quite the same). So, in order to explore this more (and ask all the stupid questions that are bouncing around in my head) I sat down with writer Barrak Alzaid, who told me all about his grandmother, Mama Latifa, whose house acted as a safe haven and magical space for Barrak when he was growing up in 1980s and 90s Kuwait. Along the way we talk about different cultural understandings of the coming out journey, what happens when that coming out journey doesn't go according to plan, and which of the characters from the 80s cartoon Thundercats is the most shaggable.... Do you have any memories from queer spaces that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod) and Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod). Find out more about Barrak by visiting his website (https://barrakalzaid.com/) or follow him on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/barrakstar) or X (https://twitter.com/barrakstar) Key takeaways Mama Latifa's house played a significant role in Barrak's understanding of their identity, providing a safe and empowering environment. The Western concept of coming out does not neatly align with the societal expectations in Kuwait, where discussions about sexuality are often avoided. Barrak's relationship with their mother has evolved over time, with open dialogue and understanding. The limitations and challenges faced by queer individuals in Kuwait highlight the importance of safe spaces and the need for acceptance and support. Creating safe and liberatory spaces can have a profound impact on individuals' personal growth and self-expression. Family meals and gatherings can foster a sense of togetherness and provide a space for individuals to be themselves. Having a supportive and accepting environment can help individuals develop a strong sense of self-assuredness. The freedom to play and consume subversive media can contribute to personal growth and self-expression. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

So it's fairly well established that I think queer spaces are really significant and an important way to explore your identity and dip your big toe into the queer lake of fabulosity. But, what we don't talk a lot about on this show is the importance of queer performance spaces, where people who are just starting out - singers, comedians, jugglers - have the chance to perform in front of an understanding audience (even if they do occasionally heckle and objectify you - somehow it's ok when it's a queer audience!). Anyway, that was my way of introducing this week's guest, comedian extraordinaire, Natali Caro, who found a queer comedy night at Giant Dwarf in Sydney early on in their career, and says that it helped them to be brave and try different things that helped them step into their comedic excellence. So much so, in fact, that it inspired them to set up their own night - Gag - that we will find out more about during this episode. Do you have any memories of Giant Dwarf, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod) and Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod). Find out more about Natali by following them on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/nati_daddy_/) Takeaways Performing to a queer audience is often more rewarding and understanding than performing to a non-queer audience. Comedy can be a powerful tool for self-expression and reaching people with important messages. Overcoming shyness and pursuing comedy can be a transformative experience. The first solo performance can be nerve-wracking but can also lead to personal growth and confidence. Queer comedy festivals provide opportunities for performers to showcase their work in a supportive and inclusive environment. Inclusive comedy spaces are important for marginalised communities who often feel excluded from mainstream comedy. Queer clubbing can be challenging for individuals who don't feel like they fit into the traditional party scene or who prefer non-clubbing related entertainment. Creating an inclusive space requires intentional programming, representation, and a welcoming atmosphere set by the host or organiser. The intangible element of 'vibes' plays a role in the overall experience of a comedy night or event. Measuring self-worth based on output can be detrimental and it's important to let go of the need for validation. Living in a cave may sound appealing at times, but human connection and applause can bring joy and fulfillment! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

Now, you might want to sit down or take a deep breath before you read this episode description, but.... it's possible that I've managed to find someone wracked with more self-doubt than me! Now, i hope you haven’t spit out your coffee or come over all faint, but I can confirm it is absolutely true. And who is that person? Well, it’s host of The Winning Side podcast Jord Hailwood, who joined me to talk about his university days in Oxford and how special being able to go to his lost space The Plush Lounge was for him. (Oh, but, just to avoid any confusion - as of 2024 The Plush Lounge is still very much ongoing, and bills itself as Oxford's premier LGBTQ+ party space! The reason that we're discussing it in this episode is because when Jord first started university it was being held at a different venue - a different physical space - which it moved away from in 2019). Do you have any memories of The Plush Lounge, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod) and Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Jord by listening to his podcast The Winning Side, or following him on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/jordanhailwood/) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

On this week's show I'm starting to question whether I should be getting in to the world of kink or not. And, who is enticing me over to the kinky side? Why, it's podcaster and well-known kinkster Auntie Vice, who tells me all about what drew her to the world of kink, as well as what was so special about her lost space, Wicked Grounds in San Francisco, USA.  Find out more about Auntie Vice by listening to the Fat Girls on Top podcast, following her on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/auntievice) or visiting her website (www.auntievice.com) You can also reach out to me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod) or Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) - I'd love to hear from you! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

More new podcast recommendations this week! This week I'm sharing an episode of The Queer Family Podcast, a show all about queer families. Every episode is a chat between host Jaimie and different guests who have been through the process of starting their own family, and I've learnt so much from listening about how varied everyone's journey is. This particular episode is a chat with Richard and Carlos, (aka @therealdadsofnewyork), who chat about their experiences of fostering and adopting. The thing I love in particular about this conversation is that very specific energy between a couple (you know what I'm talking about!). --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

Ahoy! I'm taking a few weeks off over the festive period to recharge (and eat too many mince pies). But, rather than leaving you languishing out there in podcast land without any fresh content I thought I would share some of my favourite episodes from past guests' own podcasts. And, the first show that I'm sharing is..... This Queer Book Saved My Life! This show is hosted by JP Der Boghossian, who appeared in the Lost Spaces episode "Every Bachelorette Party Seems To Be At A Queer Bar Now" waaaaay back in August 2022. I wanted to share this episode because: JP is a total sweetheart and I think you'll love his interview style The episode, a conversation with Maya Williams, the Poet Laureate of Portland, Maine, covers a book that is often the focus of book-banning campaigns - The Colour Purple. I am baffled by all this book banning malarkey, and I want to hear your views on it! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

Sometimes on this show we talk about spaces that my guest went to religiously, and they have stories from years of partying and socialising. And sometimes, like with this episode, we go to spaces that my guest only went to once. Despite that, it was still hugely influential to them. And, so, although we don't know the name of this week's bar, or exactly what town it was in, we DO know that it was in Arizona, that it was a country bar, and that it had a huge impact on my guest, David F M Vaughn from the queer parenting podcast Gaytriarchs. We talk all about the overlap between queerness and southernness, the beauty of an unpretentious bar, and the fear of going to queer spaces on your own (and being judged horribly!). Do you have any inkling of what this week's mystery bar could be, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod) or Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about David by having a listen to Gaytriarchs wherever you find podcasts, or by following him on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/davidfmvaughn). --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

What do you do when Malcolm McLaren, that hugely influential promoter and manager for punk rock bands like Sex Pistols, Adam and the Ants, and Bow Wow Wow, tells you that he thinks you should move to New York City? Well, you pack your bags and get moving! That’s exactly what this week’s guest did, packing his bags and moving with his best friend Lauren after the two got talking to Mr McLaren at a party they attended in their home state, California. Moving from San Diego in the autumn of 1985, the two were plunged in to the exciting NYC nightlife scene immediately, attending the lost space Boy Bar on their very first night. And Boy Bar came to be a pretty big deal in Miss Guy's life - but, I'll let her tell you about that. This is a really great conversation, and another reminder after the conversation a few weeks ago with Sherry Vine of a time when New York City nightlife was vital and throbbing and the centre of the universe... Do you have any memories of Boy Bar, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Miss Guy by following him on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/missguynyc/) or visiting his website (www.missguy.com) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

What do you do when you're a drag queen who wants to get more gigs? Well, that's simple - you create you own night! Easy, right? But we're not talking about just any old drag queen. We are talking about someone who, dare I say, loves a checklist almost as much as I do (I know, can you believe it?). Zelda Moon is the co-host of the Death to Everyone podcast (and we've already met her co-host Lazy Susan in last week's episode), and she is also a huge lover of K-Pop and J-Pop music. And, so, she got the bright idea, early in her drag career, to throw a night celebrating this music, which she called Genki (and which was held at Melbourne's Hugs and Kisses). And that's when the fun began! Listen to the full episode to find out more. Do you have any memories of Genki at Hugs n Kisses, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Zelda by listening to her podcast with Lazy Susan (who was last week's guest!), Death to Everyone, or you can also follow her on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon/). Oooh, and if you want to get a better feel for what Genki was like check out the Genki Instagram page (https://www.instagram.com/genkiparty/) If you liked this episode I'd really appreciate if you subscribe, leave a review on your podcast platform, or just tell people that you think might be interested! I am K Anderson, and you've been listening to Lost Spaces --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message

Who doesn't love a bit of competition? I'm rarely happier than when there are dreams to crush, plans to thwart and hearts to break. But, enough about me. Instead, let's talk about this week's guest, Australian drag queen and co-host of the Death to Everyone podcast, Lazy Susan, who found herself getting a bit competitive herself taking part in a drag competition at the Melbourne drag bar The Greyhound. And, it was through this that she fell in love with the space and the cast of characters who worked and socialised there. Do you have any memories of The Greyhound, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos! You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod) Find out more about Lazy Susan by listening to her podcast with Zelda Moon, Death to Everyone, or you can also follow her on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/ms lazysusan/). --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/k-anderson/message